Ask yourself. Does this describe you?
You are very accomplished. You have a family you love, friends you value, and most of the things you planned to have in life. But there is still something missing. What if you could discover more about this "something missing", this desire, and fulfill it? Better yet, what if you had the best help available for you starting now? Would you accept that help?
Yes. If you could find the person who could help you fulfill your desire, then you would let them. Because it is possible. Start now.
If you know what event would open you to deep happiness, perhaps you are confronted with obstacles. Remember a time in your life when you achieved a dream. You were the best self you could have been in that moment. Now ask yourself, "Who helped me?" There was someone special who said, "Go for it!" They helped you discover who you were. That person helped you create your Ideal Self. For an important moment your life matched your vision.
Are you finished creating yourself yet?
There is more for you, starting with a free discovery session.
Contemplation vs. Distraction
…the cultivation of mindfulness amid the busy-ness of contemporary life can open up the possibility for developing new wisdom through introspection… the center for contemplative mind in society
Topic 1. How to find a reflective stance in order to unite our inner and outer lives.
According to wordnet.princeton.edu, Contemplation is defined as:
- · a long and thoughtful observation
- · a calm lengthy intent consideration
On the other hand, Distraction is defined in wordnet.princeton.edu as,
- · mental turmoil; “he drives me to distraction”
- · an obstacle to attention
We lead busy lives, and sometimes become so dominated by the demands upon us that we lose the ability to contemplate. The skill itself becomes unfamiliar, and the reflective stance of mindfulness eludes us. We are no longer aware of whether we our outer lives are in alignment with our inner selves. However, we can choose to remember how to Contemplate, and live reflectively.
Contemplation requires taking the time to consider something thoroughly. It means stopping our busy schedules for as long as it takes to really think.
Contemplation requires thoroughness. It is not enough to flit past a really important idea. We must take time to observe without judgment, think through all of the available facets, and only then decide whether and which judgment is appropriate.
Contemplation is a habit which requires repetition. Mental turmoil is the opposing habit of juggling everything in ones mind without deeply considering any one thing. In order to prevent that habit from dominating our lives, we must put another habit in place, contemplation. It may seem strange at first to focus ones mind so completely, and for as long as we need to reach completion. However, repeating the practice makes mindfulness easier.
Discussion: When was the last time you pondered an idea at your leisure and stayed with it until a full insight was yours?
Tips for fostering Contemplation and Reducing Stress and Anxiety:
1. Develop a deep focus through breath awareness, meditation, visualization, and observation
2. Recognize when a distracting thought, for example, I need to change the laundry, crosses your mind and let the thought pass by.
3. Practice self-nuturing techniques often. The contemplative arts are a great start. So is yoga, playing with children, walking, writing, creative visualization, watch a moonrise.
4. Focus on the process rather than the product.
5. Pay attention to your passions.
6. Obverse at your leisure.
7. Prioritize Curiosity and Fun.
8. Design simple personal rituals that serve you.
9. Journal.
The goal is to engage in Contemplative practices that quiet the mind. In this way we increase our capacity for deep concentration and insight. As your mind quiets, different aspects of the self come into focus, or, if you are consideringsomething external, different aspects of the object come into focus. From this place personal wisdom, creativity, and awareness grow. One feels more interconnected with life, more relaxed, and more oneself.
Practicing Contemplation requires empathy, focus, concentration, openness, and awareness, but it builds all of these abilities to. It is a self-reciprocating practice. Contemplation is a practical and transformative skill.
Reflection and Application:
Create a specific time in your dayto quiet your mind. Follow a ritual or engage in an activity that helps. Try this for several days.
Begin looking into different areas of yourself or the world one at a time during this time. Simply observe the areas. Refrain from judgment.
Revisit areas that have disclosed themselves and become interesting to you. Open yourself to insights that occur naturally as you focus.
Record the most interesting insights. Now you have begun a contemplative journey. Give yourself the time you need to explore it.
Please feel free to post interesting contemplative results on this site. Inspire others!
April 1st, 2008
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adgaldos |
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You hear a lot today about living in the moment, and about mindfulness (of the happening in the moment). Right now you can attend Oprah’s class with Eckhart Tolle on Skype. So what does living in the moment mean for happiness? After all, ”the moment” seems very static. One wonders how living goes on in it. If you wanted to be comedic, and you were the right age in the eighties, you might recall the Talking Heads version of heaven, same party, same bar — for eternity.
Here’s one thing I learned from reading Aristotle. (It is worth mentioning Aristotle himself because he made this point more than 1,686 years before anyone making it now. It is a pretty good point to last that long.) Happiness is a life of virtuous activity. How does this help us to live in the moment? Happiness is doing something that you find pleasant. It may also bring a good result, like making some one else happy, however, the doing makes you happy. So what about the virtuous part? Well we are all gifted with the ability to judge a better action from a worse action when we try. Sure things get complicated, but no one worth knowing likes a gossip or a coward or a miser. Frankly, if you could pick your ideal friend wouldn’t he or she be loyal, honest, and want the best for you? Aristotle’s point is that human beings derive pleasure just from the doing of good and pleasant activities for ourselves, others, and our community. We also derive pleasure from the result, and often from recognition and gratitude from others– but those are secondary. The doing itself makes us happy because the doing of good things is the function of humanity — it aligns with who we are meant to be. (If you do not enjoy doing good things, you are either ignorant or have other issues or both, but you should get with it, because you will never be happy. Sorry.)
Happiness as pleasurable and virtuous activites is great news! Living in the moment means, in part: choose activities that both please you and are good for you and others. Then you will naturally live in the moment. Your alignment will be such that mindfulness is nearly unavoidable. (Whereas a liar has to have a divided mind and cannot live in the moment, an honest person can enjoy the moment without juggling an agenda.)
Think of all the places in your life this would be a great perspective. The Aristotle Diet! Eat enough to fill you of things that promote your health which you enjoy eating! No strain necessary! Aristotle Parenting! If you want to steward your child on to a happy life, do things that are good for the child and therefore pleasant to you, and enjoy the journey. (More on this in another post.) Aristotle Career Management! Do work that you enjoy which also supports your needs so that you can do work that you enjoy!
This is The Secret! Really, try it and I swear everything gets more interesting and easier.
March 27th, 2008
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adgaldos |
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No Wonder? Then No Way!
I am passionate about Wonder. I mean the activity of wondering. I also mean the state in which one finds oneself overwhelmed by fabulous wonder. And I also mean that moment when you can’t keep it to yourself anymore and you have to share the moment with someone and call it wonderful.
Do you remember the first moment you experienced unabashed Wonder? It must have been early. I was recently babysitting a darling toddler who has just learned that walking a little faster in a jiggidy-jog manner produces running. I have a big kitchen island in my great-room, and he was running around it. You could see the moment, after a few times concentrated on the running, that he realized, “Wow, I have returned To The Same Exact Spot!” Then it’s like, “Cool I can do it again!” Wonderful, right?
I don’t remember the first moment I experienced full blown wonder with my being-in-the-world, but I remember one that still gives me tingles. I remember discovering that I could imagine a world, design the rules (mostly), and all the other cool stuff, and then play in there (living and playing were the same then). Wow that was cool! Infinite fresh worlds to wonder about everyday.
I am adopting a daughter. I travel to get her next month. I am already in a state of Wonder. I stare at her picture and wonder about her. What is she saying? How did she survive it all? Who is she? And I am also struck by her wonderfulness. Ask my Dad, he expresses the wonderful about her everyday — yesterday it was her ears.
So I am lucky, I knew I had to prioritize Wonder early. Now I get to be a mom, a life coach, and a philosopher/writer everyday. In fact, with the exception of that one job in a bar, life has been and is wonderous. Yaay wonder! I hope everyone who reads this immediately wonders about something. I’m already wondering who is reading this and what you are like.
March 27th, 2008
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This morning I read three newspapers, all of which had bad news. I tried to ignore the overwhelming feeling that I could do little or nothing about any of it, but we are adopting a daughter in May. What will I teach her about the world? What do I feel empowered to change? Will she be happy in the world, or will all of the trials eventually overwhelm her? Here are some ideas I used to launch a better day from a brilliant Existential Detective, William James.
1) I am free to state what I stand to lose by waiting to decide what to do, and then failing to act on important issues.
2) Because of the risk, I am justified in believing something that will allow me to act.
3) I should embrace ideas about which I am passionate ,and upon which I am willing to act.
I am passionate about these ideas because the feeling of impotence is the toxic fuel for anxiety and unhappiness. According to William James:
1) The main thing one has to do to create and sustain happiness is to examine the beliefs that move you into action.
············*Not minor beliefs, like the notion that tomatoes should not be stored in the refrigerator, but Major Beliefs. Because Major Beliefs can actually move us into actions that change our lives for the better.
Does this seem like something you already know? Great! Here is the Special Sauce:
2) Major beliefs are selected in part by our Passions.
············If I decide to open a socially conscious business or to have a baby, passion is a part of my decision. Frankly, the same is true of every major, meaningful and inevitable decision in my life. It is impossible to wait for irrefutable rational or empirical evidence for every belief that we embrace. We must embrace momentous beliefs with partial rational and external evidence in hand. This is where courage comes in.
Perhaps I am passionate about nature, and want to reduce my carbon footprint. I can wait for empirical evidence of the exact benefit of my every act, delivered to my door irrefutably carved in stone. Then I can dither about a decision and delay action forever. I can also figure that everyone else is waiting too, so even if I do something it will not matter. Then I can forget about it altogether and delay action forever. Or I can refuse a defeatist mentality by asking myself, “What about nature and my life in it sparks my passion?” I name it, and stand back, I’m there. I will do something about that!
And here is the spice in the special sauce… If finding my passion gets me moving, then the same might be true of others. I can find their passion and speak to it and maybe they will help.
This viewpoint is great because it: makes me happy, makes others happy, moves us all into action AND helps us raise happy kids. I can reason with my daughter all her life (and I will). I can present hard facts (and I will). But I can also appeal to Her Passion, encouraging her to forge major beliefs from that source, and to act in her best interests! Today I took three small steps to reduce my carbon footprint by changing my choices. I also wrote this blog. And I will read about issues important to me after exercising. I’m feeling a positive hum. My plan for tomorrow morning? To use the newspaper to name one more thing I am passionate about and empower my day by doing something, even the smallest thing, in favor of my passionate belief. Then I will celebrate my beliefs, and I invite you to do the same.
March 18th, 2008
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